The Saint Regis Hotel in Bar Harbor, FL

The lobby at the St. Regis Hotel, Bal Harbor, Florida.

It is 11:10am on Tuesday and we are pushing back from the gate at American Airlines’ relatively new terminal at Boston’s Logan Airport. Besides the usual traffic on I-93 and ridiculously long line at Starbucks, it has been a busy but uneventful morning. After a short taxi on the runway we take off. The flight is smooth and it is a brand new plane. Bob is all kinds of excited. A little girl is singing “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” in a most adorable way. We are kicking off another European trip. First stop: Miami.

Once in the air, it begins. A woman one row in front of us starts sneezing and asks the flight attendant for Kleenex. She gets them. No big deal. A woman directly behind me starts coughing a little bit and they bring her some water. Nice. Then I begin to notice we are on verse 27 of the Monkey song. I immerse myself a little deeper into the inflight magazine. The sneezing has turned into nose blowing. As in copious amounts of snot. Starting to get a little gross. The coughing behind me is starting to get real. As in tuberculosis real. Luckily, the Monkey song is over. Only to be replaced by random ear-piercing shrieks. Where is the beverage cart?

It comes, and I get a glass of water and some white wine to coat the nerves. Lunch is served and I push it around and take a few bites. Cheese stuffed poblano pepper over rice with a side salad of kale, tomato and zucchini. Not bad for plane food, but a little goes a long way. Bob skips lunch as he as work to do. Except the WiFi on the brand new plane is not working. The flight attendant explains that because it is brand new equipment, not everything works properly. Just let that sink in. Poor Bob is left with already-downloaded mail and spreadsheets plus a note-taking program. How 90’s. He is not all kinds of excited anymore.

The coughing, nose-blowing and random shrieking seems to die down a bit after lunch so I go back to my reading. The American Airlines magazine has a listing of best hotels, restaurants and bars worldwide under 20 or so different categories, so I take notes of everything I might encounter on this trip. We are spending 24 hours in Miami at the St. Regis Hotel in Bal Harbor before heading to London, Milan, Hamburg (7 hour layover) and Paris. This is a much shorter trip than our world tour. 10 days. Hop, skip and a jump.

For the Miami stop, I had visions of reading by the pool and strolling along the beach in a carefree fashion, but all signs point to 24 hour of torrential downpour, thunder and lightning in Bal Harbor. We shall see. Since it is such a short trip I will focus my review on the St. Regis. I have been to the one in NYC. She is one of the Grande Dames of New York hotels. This one looks newer. We’ll find out.

The rest of the flight is relatively uneventful. Coughing lady simmers down, snot lady is sleeping and doing some heavy mouth breathing. She wakes up here and there to fill a few tissues and then nods off again. And cute devil-shrieking child just whimpers once in a while. And parents, I get it. You need to get where you need to go. The struggle is real. I applaud your bravery. Bob is offered 4,000 free miles for the lack of internet access. A token, but better than nothing. Time for landing.

What to do when we arrive? The guys are running off to a meeting and then a business dinner which is spouse-free. I am ok with this. It all depends on the weather. Again, it is supposed to be hot, humid and rainy. Unless the forecast is wrong, I am thinking indoor pool, spa, maybe get my hair done, then choice of dining destinations. Thanks to the inflight mag, I have a few choices in mind. But when we land it is a decent, albeit humid. 89 degrees. Sundress tonight so I can show off my New Hampshire tan. That is an oxymoron, in case you missed it.

Scenes from the entryway, lobby, coffee/patisserie shop, outdoor area, wine bar and rooms of the St. Regis Bal Harbor.  Click along the right edge of the image to toggle through the slide show.

I take a few pictures of the common areas while Bob checks in. I am feeling modern Art Deco here. It’ll do. Bob runs to the lobby for a quick pow-wow, and when he comes back I will make my plans. Meanwhile I retire to the balcony for a photo opp.

Now what? Time to freshen up and think about dinner. I choose a sundress with a light sweater and sandals, slap on a little lipstick and head down to the Concierge. His name is Rio and he is tall, dark and handsome! I’ve decided I’d like to go somewhere close to the hotel and enjoy some local seafood with a glass of white wine. And a view. He suggests several restaurants, but we decide on the Artisan Beach House at the Ritz Carlton. He offers to have the house car (Bentley) drive me, but I decide to walk and take in the sights. It’s five blocks. C’mon.

The architecture in Bal Harbor, like many seaside resort towns on the east coast of Florida, are.... kinda the same. Homogenous? I like the ones with palm trees, plants and water features. Here is a sampling.

Many of the high-rise condos and hotels along Collins Avenue in Bal Harbor, Florida.

When I arrive at the Ritz Calton, it is nice. In a tastefully modern kind of way. The restaurant itself is white, bright and inviting. Rio had set me up on the terrace, but it is looking a little menacing out there. I stop in the ladies room to dab the little sweat beads off my face and refresh that lipstick again. Time for dinner. The ladies room is cool, I took pictures. No shame.

The Ritz Carlton in Bal Harbor.  Exterior, lobby and ladies room.  It was a vey cool ladies room!!

At the Artisan Beach House, there is a small but varied menu of starters, raw selection and mains. The waitress is most helpful. I decide on a ceviche to start, followed by a whole grilled branzino with tomato, fennel and kale. For those who don’t do or have not tried ceviche, you should. In its purest form, it is raw chopped fish coated in lime juice, and through a chemical reaction, the lime cooks the fish. I am not trying to scam you, look it up. This particular rendition is a local Cobia ceviche with lime, sweet peppers, cilantro and roasted corn. It is great, but it comes in a cereal bowl, I could not eat all this if my life depended on it. Saving room for the Branzino. And here he is. Or she. I don’t know how to tell.

The interior of the Artisan Beach House at the Ritz Carlton Bal Harbor, plus my lovely dinner selection of Cobia Ceviche and Grilled Branzino, and the Blueberry Cheesecake with Cinnamon Crumble I took back to the hotel.  Delicious!

There is an art to eating fish on the bone. I tend to start at the belly and gently flake strips of fish from head to tail. Yes there will be bones and no, they will not kill you. Chew gently and remove them if you bite down on one. In a lady-like fashion. Unless you are a dude. This branzino is delicately cooked and lightly flavored with the tomato and fennel. I liberally apply the grilled citrus. It is delicious. The dessert menu comes and I see a blueberry cheesecake with a cinnamon crumble. I order it to go, as at 7:30 at the St. Regis wine bar, someone sabers the cork off a champagne bottle. Not missing that! Check it out!

I did get my ride in a fancy car after all. Since there is some pretty substantial lightning out there, the Ritz has offered to drive me home in their Cadillac Escalade. Who am I to say no? After the saber thing, I take the cheesecake up to the balcony on the 20th floor and watch nature’s performance. It starts out relatively mild, but by 9:00 it is raining like it is time to close the doors on the ark. The thunder and lightning is persistent. I however am undercover and stay on my chaise lounge on the balcony with my cheesecake and watch it all. I love a good storm.